I'm it?

Iz has tagged me, and well, I don’t have the heart to tell her we’re not 3 anymore (or are we???…I get so confused) so will play along.

Here are 5 things most people don’t know about me.

5) I am mortally scared of paperwork. If I’m ever captured by an enemy spy and they place a 20 page government form in triplicate before me…it’ll be enough to make me go “Ok I’ll talk, I’ll talk. I’ll do anything just get that thing away from me…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH”

4) I’m terrified of drowning. Sometimes, I have this recurring nightmare about tidal waves. Even the pool of water collecting below my shower is enough to give me the heebie jeebies. Look, I’m bloody short, ok?

3) I’ve got the laziest bowels in the world. The bastards just won’t move. I’ve tried buying them flowers, singing hopelessly off key, promising not to eat refined carbohydrates (Ha ha gotcha!)…anything that helps me do time in the bathroom.

2) This next bit isn’t a secret anymore thanks to a certain Mr. Dias, but I’m going to come clean. It’s true I wash my toothbrush with soap before using it. Hey, things could’ve crawled on it at night. Things could’ve emptied their bowels on it at night. Hell, things could be sleeping on it WHILE I’m brushing my teeth. I’m not taking any chances.

1) My weight is…oh right, like I’m really going to give that number out. Dream on.

Tagging everyone in my links list. Get to work people. Chop chop.

In Sydney, I:

1) Shamelessly drooled outside restaurants that sold crab claws.

2) Feverishly muttered the words ‘crab claws’ in my sleep.

3) Ate a lot of crab claws. (You knew that was coming, right?)

4) Prayed I’d never get full.

5) Discovered the joys of a sushi train. Where unlimited sushi is passed around on a conveyer belt. However, I skipped the belt and grabbed the sushi directly out of the chef’s hands. Poor bastard never saw me coming.

6) Made a lot of Chinese mothers very nervous. In my defense, all I did was say, ‘Cute baby. How much?’

7) Tried to smuggle out a Koala bear but the guards realized I wasn’t pregnant when I first entered the zoo. Hey, in my defense, they looked a lot like Chinese babies with excess fur.

8) Got a ball of paper thrown at me by a bunch of fans during the Pearl Jam concert. Just because I distracted them by shrieking and jumping around like a woman possessed. Yeah sure, if Eddie Vedder does it, he gets paid.

9) Almost drowned in the ocean. You see, I was hit by a giant wave. Ok, it wasn’t all that enormous. Wasn’t really big either. Fine, it was all of two feet. Are you happy now?

10) Walked and walked for miles without ever saying the words, ‘Are we there yet?’

11) Had a frigging blast! (Thank you, Deepa and Michael.)