Humph
There’s this old, Gujarati gentleman who insists on sneaking up behind me when I’m huffing and puffing my heart out in the gym, and gently whispers in my ear, ‘You’ve put on 2 more kilos.’
Listen up old man, I've got a weighing scale with a huge dent, half a dozen skirts with broken zips and a dustbin full of empty chocolate wrappers to tell me that. So the next time we meet, just keep walking, ok? Don’t even make eye contact. Or I’ll put those extra 2 kilos to good use.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s something deep fried in butter that’s got my name all over it.
Listen up old man, I've got a weighing scale with a huge dent, half a dozen skirts with broken zips and a dustbin full of empty chocolate wrappers to tell me that. So the next time we meet, just keep walking, ok? Don’t even make eye contact. Or I’ll put those extra 2 kilos to good use.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s something deep fried in butter that’s got my name all over it.
posted by Diana Kotwal at
Thursday, November 02, 2006
12 Comments:
Hey I like your style of writing! I like your attitude too. I am struggling with the same kind of problem --- "the butter thing with my name on it". Do visit my blog.
Murali, Geneva, Switzerland
try offering him some dhokala and ragda pattice. if that doesnt work then try exercising next to a woman who is 10 kgs heavier.
Fatty.. what are you having that's deep fried in butter? Save some for me.
hmmm..time i did something to that old gujarati. maybe beat him to death with that deep fried in butter thing..actually scratch that- knowing you that deep fried thing will be a chicken leg and he'll turn out to be vegetarian and his lawyer will then paint me as an insensitive cad...Maybe throwing tins of pure ghee at him is the way to go. Any chance you can paint a bulleye on his forehead the next time he leans in to whisper sweet notings into your ear?
Remember the bawa gent who whispered, deekra, chaddi perich soo? When we were in college.
gurl i feel your pain... but i mean think about this .. say u and this gujurati gemtalman HAPPENED to be flying togteher(it could happen) and say your plane runs out of fuel (for your sake i hope this never happens)...and were u to jump out without a life jacket(against all odds)... tell me me this, which one of u would be more buoyant?.. u might get to be shark feed but hell atleast u aint sinking rite!!!!rite?!?---bev
gemtalman (noun): All gujurati men who are really nice at heart, though dole out unwarranted weight information.
jonah u couldnt have said it better.... i was hoping somebody would get that. i even thought i ought to add a footnote... but with u around who needs footnotes...:)...bev
I've finally decided on the perfect revenge for this 'gemtalman'. Will stop going to the gym altogether. That'll show him. Ha!
I think you're gonna 'show' us as well. A lot.
anyone for some chocolate excess??
my kind of response! rock on, Diana! :-)
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